(sorry for the bad quality) | Caramel. Everyone loves it, some know how to pronounce it, and me? Well, I know how to ruin it. Hopefully, all you humans enjoy fail stories ( I know I do!) because mine is full a failure and stupidity. Fun right? Our tale begins with me, sitting at the computer. *flash back music and squiggly blurry lines* (you know what I mean!) As I sit at my computer desk working on math, I have a thought. ( amazing right?) The thought is one of those thoughts that you think is a good thought at the time you think the thought but after you've thought about the thought you thunk of you realize your thought you originally were thinking of actually stinks. |
Now, here's where things REALLY go down hill. As I wait for the "caramel" to cool down I notice a small dark dot on my the counter near where the bowl was laying. I touch it and it seems cool, I smell, smells like caramel, so I drop it in my mouth...The taste that met by tongue was enough to send me to the sink in a spitting rage. This tiny little rock tasted like burnt plastic but with the texture of a crouton with a tan. ( I have no idea what that analogy means either) After removing the foul taste from my poor mouth a terrifying thought came to mind, What if ALL the caramel tastes like this? As I headed for the fridge I tried to convince myself that it was just a bad piece or some fluke. I removed the once soupy mixture (burning myself in the process) it now looked like a thick sludge...yum. It had to taste good, it just had to! Wishful thinking was the only thinking I was doing because I put the spoon on my mouth. First reaction, HOOOOOOOOOT!!!!! As I began to taste the foul, disgusting, horrid, un-edible goo I had created I ran to the sink to save my mouth again. It was burnt plastic deja vu but this time the texture was like toothpaste on steroids and very hard to remove from a mouth. After somehow managing to scrape the slime out of my mouth I contemplated how to dispose of this toxic stuff. Throwing away the bowl was out of the question since it was glass so just washing in out seemed like the best idea. WRONG! The second the "hot" water hit the goop I heard a crack and tried to stir it up but couldn't. Why you ask? Everything in the bowl was solid, apparently the hot water in my sink is hot to me but not to this stuff! Burnt, sad and bewildered I tried to come up with someway to salvage the bowl and spoon. Hu ha! Lightbulb! The microwave, I can re-melt the hardened poison caramel and then scrape it out! As I watch it spin smoke is just pouring off of the bowl. Without allowing sufficient smoke dispersion time I open the door and get a lovely cloud of horrible burnt caramel smoke right in my face...this day is going to so well. Long story short-er, after several re-melts and five damp paper towels I manage to clean off the spoon and bowl. But the lingering scent of burnt caramel still lives as a reminder to never so something to stupid again.
Sarah the human (and bad cook) <3